“15 ki umra tak main mammi-paapa ka banaya har niyam maanti thi. lekin ab main 19 saal ki ho gayi hoon, mujhe lagta hai ki mujhe aur aazadi milni chahiye.”—sylvia

kya aap bhi sylvia ki tarah mehsoos karte hain? agar haan, to is lekh se aap jaan paayenge ki aap apne mammi-paapa se is vishay par kaise baat kar sakte hain.

•  aapko kya pata hona chahiye?

•  aap kya kar sakte hain?

•  aapke hamumra kya kehte hain?

mammi-paapa se unke niyamon ke baare mein baat karne se pehle in baaton par dhyan deejiye

• niyamon ke bina zindagi theek se nahin chal sakti. zara sochiye, agar ek bheed-bhaadvale chaurahe par yaatayat ke niyam, chinh ya koi traffic light na ho, to kaisa rahega? jis tarah yaatayat ke niyam hone se achhi vyavastha bani rehti hai, usi tarah ghar mein niyam hone se parivar mein sabkuch theek-thaak chalta hai.

• mammi-paapa ko aapki parvah hai, iseeliye woh aapke liye niyam banate hain. agar woh aapke liye koi niyam na banayen, to iska matlab hoga ki unhein aapki koi parvah nahin. aise mein kya woh mammi-paapa hone ka farz nibha rahe honge?

kya aap jaante hain? mammi-paapa ko bhi niyam maanne hote hain! kaun se niyam? jaanne ke liye utpatti 2:24; vyavasthavivran 6:6, 7; ifisiyon 6:4 aur 1 timuthiyus 5:8 padhiye.

kya aapko ab bhi lagta hai ki mammi-paapa ke banaye niyam aapke liye sahi nahin hain?

mammi-paapa se baat karne se pehle sochiye. kya aap hamesha mammi-paapa ke banaye niyam maante hain? agar aap aksar aisa karne se chook jaate hain, to itni jaldi unse is baare mein baat mat keejiye. iske bajay pehle aap angrezee mein diya lekh “mammi-paapa ka bharosa kaise jeetoon?” padh sakte hain.

lekin agar aap hamesha unke banaye niyam maante hain, to sabse pehle sochiye ki aap unse kya kaheinge. aap chahein to likhkar rakh sakte hain ki aap unse kya kaheinge. isse aap jaan paayenge ki aapki maang kitni sahi hai. iske baad mammi-paapa se kahiye ki woh ek jagah aur samay tay karein, taaki aap sab aaram se baat kar sakein. unse baatcheet karte samay in baaton ka dhyan rakhiye

aadar se baat keejiye. bible kehti hai, “chubhnevali baat se gussa bhadak uthta hai.” (neetivachan 15:1) isliye saavdhan rahiye agar aap mammi-paapa se behas kareinge ya un par ilzam lagayenge ki woh aapke saath sahi nahin kar rahe hain, to baat banne ke bajay bigad sakti hai.

“main mammi-paapa ka jitna zyada aadar karti hoon, woh bhi mera utna hi lihaz karte hain. ek-doosre ke liye aadar hone se hum aasani se ek nateeje par pahunch paate hain.”—19 saal ki bianca.

dhyan se suniye. bible kehti hai ki har koi “sunne mein furti kare, bolne mein utavli na kare.” (yakub 1:19) yaad rakhiye, aapko mammi-paapa se baatcheet karni hai, isliye khud hi mat bolte rahiye, unki bhi suniye.

“jaise-jaise hum bade hote hain, hamein lag sakta hai ki hum mammi-paapa se zyada jaante hain, lekin yah bilkul sach nahin hai. unki salah maanne mein hi hamari bhalai hai.”—20 saal ki devan.

unki baat samjhiye. maamle ko mammi-paapa ki nazar se dekhiye. bible ki yah salah maaniye, “sirf apne bhale ki fikra mein na rahein, balki doosre ke bhale ki bhi fikra karein.” yah samajhne ki koshish keejiye ki aapke mammi-paapa kya chahte hain.—filippiyon 2:4.

“mujhe lagta tha ki mammi-paapa mere dost nahin dushman hain. lekin fir mujhe ehsas hua ki woh sirf apni zimmedari nibhana seekh rahe the, theek jaise main ek zimmedar insan banna seekh raha tha. unhonne jo bhi kiya, woh isliye kiya kyonki woh mujhse pyar karte the.”—21 saal ka joshua.

sujhav deejiye. maan leejiye, aap gaadi chalakar ek aisi party mein jaana chahte hain jo aapke ghar se ek ghanta door hai. magar mammi-paapa aapko mana karte hain. aise mein yah jaanne ki koshish keejiye ki unke mana karne ki kya vajah hai—lambee doori ya party?

• agar vajah lambee doori hai, to unse kahiye ki aap apne saath kisi aise vyakti ko le jaayenge jise achhi tarah gaadi chalana aata hai. tab shaayad mammi-paapa aapko jaane ki ijazat dein.

• agar vajah party hai, to mammi-paapa ko bataiye ki party kiski nigrani mein hogi aur vahaan kaun-kaun honge. tab shaayad woh aapko jaane ki ijazat dein.

yaad rakhiye ki aapko mammi-paapa se aadar se baat karni hai aur sabra se unki baat sunni hai. apni baaton aur apne vyavhar se dikhaiye ki aap “apne pita aur apni maa ka aadar” karte hain. (ifisiyon 6:2, 3) tab shaayad woh apna faisla badal dein. yah bhi ho sakta hai ki woh apna faisla na badlein.

mammi-paapa jo bhi faisla karein, use maan leejiye. aapke aisa karne se mammi-paapa dheere-dheere aapko zyada aazadi de sakte hain. lekin agar aap apni zid poori karne ke liye unse behas kareinge, to aapka hi nuksan hoga. iske baad fir kabhi aap kisi cheez ki ijazat maangeinge, to shaayad woh mana kar dein. vahin agar aap khushi-khushi unki baat maanein, to shaayad woh aage chalkar aapko thodi chhoot dein.