aap chahte hain ki jab bhi aapke dost ko aapse baat karni ho, aap uski sunne ke liye hamesha taiyar rahein. lekin lagta hai ki kuch vakt se aap ek dost se kuch zyada hi baatein kar rahe hain. aur woh ek ladki hai! aap shaayad kahein, ‘hum bas dost hain.’ aur aapko lagta hai ki woh bhi aisa hi maanti hai. to ismein kya burai hai?

•  kya ho sakta hai

•  is baare mein kyon sochein

•  aap kya kar sakte hain

•  sujhav

ismein koi burai nahin ki ek ladka-ladki dost hon. lekin kya aap kisi ladki par kuch zyada hi dhyan de rahe hain? agar aisa hai to use lag sakta hai ki aap is dosti ko aage badhana chahte hain.

kya aap bhi yahi chahte hain? kin vajahon se us ladki ko aisa laga hoga? aaiye dekhein.

• aap kisi par kuch zyada hi dhyan de rahe hain.

  “maana ki aap doosron ke man mein uthnevali bhaavnaon ko rok nahin sakte magar unhein bhadkaiye bhi mat. ek taraf aap keh rahe hain ki aap sirf dost hain, lekin doosri taraf aap phone par usse ghanton baat kar rahe hain.”—sierra.

• koi aap mein dilchaspi le raha hai aur jaane-anjane aap bhi use hava de rahe hain.

  “ek ladki mujhe dheron message bhejti thi. haalaanki message bhejna ka silsila mainne nahin shuroo kiya tha, lekin main uske har message ka javab deta tha. aage chalkar use yah samjhana bahot mushkil ho gaya ki main use sirf ek dost samajhta tha.”—richard.

• koi aapmein dilchaspi le raha hai aur aap bhi uski bhaavnaon ko bhadka rahe hain.

  “kuch logon ko ishkbazee karne mein maza aata hai. woh saamnevale se pyar-vyar nahin karte, bas unke jazbaton se khelte hain. mainne bahot baar aisa hote dekha hai aur har baar kisi-na-kisi ka dil zaroor tootta hai.”—tamara.

sau baat ki ek baat: agar aap kisi par kuch zyada hi dhyan dete hain ya usse har din baat karte hain to use yahi ishara milega ki aap use chahte hain.

• isse saamnevale ko chot pahunchti hai.

  shastra kehta hai: “jab ummeed poori hone mein der hoti hai, to man udas ho jaata hai.” (neetivachan 13:12) agar kisi ki baaton aur kaamon se aapko ishara milta hai ki use aapmein dilchaspi hai, to aap kya ummeed kareinge?

  “angrezee mein ek kahavat hai, ‘kisi ko kaante mein fansakar rakhna.’ iska matlab hai ki agar aapke kaante mein machhli fansi hai, to aap use na to paani mein vaapas chhod rahe hain na hi apni taraf khinch rahe hain. rishton mein bhi aisa ho sakta hai. agar aap dating ke liye taiyar nahin hain lekin aapne kisi ko ‘kaante mein fansakar’ rakha hai, to aap uska dil dukha rahe hain.”—jessica.

• isse aapki badnami hoti hai.

  shastra kehta hai: “har ek sirf apne bhale ki fikra mein na rahe, balki doosre ke bhale ki bhi fikra kare.” (filippiyon 2:4) aap us insan ko kya kaheinge jo sirf apne baare mein sochta hai? aisa karke woh kaisa naam kama raha hai?

  “mujhe woh ladke bilkul nahin pasand jo ladkiyon se ishkbazee karte firte hain. is tarah ki harktein dikhati hain ki woh aage chalkar apni patni ke bhi vafadar nahin raheinge. aise log swarthi hote hain kyonki woh bas, khud ko teesmar khan saabit karne ke liye ladkiyon ko fansate hain!”—jooliya.

sau baat ki ek baat: agar koi saamnevale ko yah ishara deta hai ki woh use chahta hai, jabki uske dil mein uske liye aisi koi bhaavna nahin hai, to woh khud ko aur saamnevale ko chot pahunchata hai.

• bible kehti hai ki hamein “javanon ko bhaai” aur “kam umra ki aurton ko behenein jaankar poori pavitrata” se unke saath pesh aana chahiye. (1 timuthiyus 5:1, 2) agar aap is baat ke mutabik chalein to ladke-ladkiyon ke saath aapki dosti nahin bigadegi.

  “agar main shaadi-shuda hoti to main kisi aur ke pati ke saath ishkbazee nahin karti. isliye achha hai ki main abhi se hi yah aadat daal loon ki main kisi ke saath ishkbazee nahin karoongi.”—leah.

• bible kehti hai, “jahaan bahot baatein hoti hain, vahaan apradh bhi hota hai.” (neetivachan 10:19) yah siddhaant na sirf baatcheet ke vakt laagoo hota hai, balki message karte vakt bhi laagoo hota hai. iska matlab, hamein dhyan rakhna chahiye ki hum doosre ko kitni baar message karte hain aur message mein kya likhte hain.

  “agar aapka dating karne ka koi irada nahin hai, to fir kisi ladki ko har din message bhejne ki kya zaroorat hai!”—brian.

• bible kehti hai, “jo buddhi swarg se milti hai woh sabse pehle to pavitra ... hoti hai.” (yakub 3:17) aap shaayad nek irade se kisi se gale milein, lekin kabhi-kabhi saamnevale ko yah lag sakta hai ki aap usmein dilchaspi le rahe hain.

  “main sabke saath achhe se baat karti hoon lekin is baat ka khyal rakhti hoon ki main unke bahot zyada kareeb na jaaun, asal mein bhi aur jazbati taur par bhi.”—maria.

sau baat ki ek baat: khud ki jaanch keejiye ki kisi ladki ya ladke ke saath aapka vyavahar kaisa hai. jennifer kehti hai, “achhe dost badi mushkil se milte hain. isliye aap nahin chaheinge ki aapki baaton ya kaamon se kisi ko galat ishara mile aur aap uski dosti kho dein.”

• doosre kya kehte hain us par dhyan deejiye. agar koi aapse poochhta hai, “kya aap aur falan vyakti dating kar rahe hain?” to samajh jaaiye ki shaayad aap us vyakti ke saath kuch zyada hi ghul-mil rahe hain.

• sab doston ke saath ek jaisa vyavahar keejiye. kisi ek ladke ya ladki par doosre doston se zyada dhyan mat deejiye.

• soch-samajhkar message bhejiye aur is baat ka khyal rakhiye ki aap kya message bhejte hain, kitni baar bhejte hain aur din ke kaun-se vakt bhejte hain. alisa kehti hai, “aadhi raat ko kisi ladke ko message kyon bhejna?”