sabse pehle, baatcheet karne ke liye sahi maahaul chuniye. kaisa maahaul sahi rahega?

sochiye ki agar aap uski jagah hote to aap usse kaise vyavhar ki ummeed karte. (matti 7:12) kya aap chahte ki woh sabke saamne ailan kar de ki woh apna rishta tod raha hai? shaayad nahin.

achha hoga ki aap sirf ek phone karke, ek message ya email bhejkar apna rishta khatm na karein. iske bajay, aisa samay aur jagah chuniye jahaan aap is gambheer masle par uske saath charcha kar sakein.

jab aap usse milte hain to aapko usse kya kehna chahiye? preshit paulus ne maseehiyon ko badhava diya ki woh ek-doosre se ‘sach bolein.’—ifi. 4:25.

aise mein achha tareeka hai, apni baat is tarah kehna ki use thes na pahunche, par saath hi apne faisle par atal rehna. aap kyon sochte hain ki is rishte ko aage badhana aapke liye sahi nahin hai.

aapko uski galtiyon ki lambee soochi sunane ki zaroorat nahin aur na hi gin-ginkar use ye batana hai ki aapko uski kaun-kaun si aadtein pasand nahin hain. yah kehne ke bajay ki “tum aisa nahin karte” ya “tum vaisa kabhi nahin karte,” aap kuch aisa keh sakte hain jisse pata chale ki aap is rishte ke baare mein kaisa mehsoos karte hain. aap keh sakte hain, “mujhe aisa saathi chahiye jo . . .” ya “mujhe lagta hai ki hamein is rishte ko yahin khatm kar dena chahiye kyonki . . ..”

yah samay apne faisle se dagmagane ka ya dost ki baaton mein aakar apna faisla badalne ka nahin hai. yaad rakhiye ki aapne kisi gambheer vajah se rishta todne ki sochi hai. isliye saavdhan rahiye agar aapka dost badi hoshiyari se alag-alag tareeke apnakar aapka man badalne ki koshish kare. lori naam ki ek ladki kehti hai, “jab mainne apne boyfriend se dosti tod the, to woh hamesha udas hone ka naatak karne laga. shaayad woh isliye aisa karta tha taaki mujhe us par taras aa jaaye. haalaanki mujhe us par taras aata tha fir bhi mainne uska ravaiya dekhkar apna faisla nahin badla.” lori ki tarah achhi tarah tay kar leejiye ki aap kya chahte hain. aapke nahin ka matlab nahin hona chahiye.—yakub 5:12.