Kubandanya ubuzima inyuma y’ukwahukana
“Naragize umwiheburo udasanzwe. Urashobora kuba wari umerewe neza mu buzima maze ibintu bigahinduka bukwi na bukwi, ugasigara uri inkokore.”
—Vyavuzwe na MARK, * uwumaze umwaka yahukanye.
“Umugabo wanje yari afitaniye imigenderanire n’umwigeme angana n’umukobwa wacu. Igihe twahukana, nariruhukije kubona nkize ibishavu vyiwe, ariko kandi narumvise maramaye, numva ata co maze.”
—Vyavuzwe na EMMELINE, uwumaze imyaka 17 yahukanye.
Hari abahukana bizigiye ko ubuzima bwabo buzorushiriza kumera neza, hakaba n’abandi bipfuza kuguma bubatse ariko bakaba badashobora gutuma abo bubakanye bagumana na bo. Ariko inyuma y’ukwahukana, abantu benshi cane basanga ubuzima bugoye kuruta uko bavyiyumvira. Nkako, nimba uherutse kwahukana woshobora gusanga ico ari kimwe mu bintu bitesha umutwe kuruta ibindi vyose bizogushikira. Vyoba vyiza rero urimbuye impanuro ngirakamaro Bibiliya itanga zishobora kugufasha kuvyifatamwo neza mu ngorane ziterwa n’ukwahukana.
INGORANE YA 1: KWIYUMVA NABI.
Umuntu arashobora kwumva arengewe n’amaganya yerekeye amahera, ukurera abana be n’irungu, kandi bikabandanya igihe kitari gito. Umuhisi Judith Wallerstein, uwahoze ari umuhinga mu vy’inyifato y’abantu, yasanze hari abantu naho boba bamaze imyaka itari mike bahukanye baguma bumva ko bahemukiwe, ko ata wubitaho, bakabona ko “ubuzima burangwa n’akarenganyo, ukuvunika umutima n’irungu.”
ICO WOKORA
Ntiwitinye kuririra ico wabuze. Vyoshika ugakumbura uwo mugenzi wawe ugikunda. Naho ubucuti bwanyu bwoba bwari bwifashe nabi, woshobora kubabazwa no kuba udafise umunezero wari witeze igihe wubaka urwawe. (Imigani 5:18) Ntugire isoni zo gufata umwanya wo kurira.
—Umusiguzi 3:1, 4. Niwirinde kwigungira ukwawe. Naho ukeneye kuba uri wenyene mu gihe co kurira, ntibikenewe ko uguma wigungira ukwawe. (Imigani 18:1) Igihe uri kumwe n’abagenzi bawe nuvuge ibiremesha, kuko kuguma widogera uwo mwahoze mwubakanye vyotuma abandi baza baraguca kure, naho woba ufise imvo zumvikana zo kumwidogera. Nimba haciye igihe gito wahukanye kandi ukaba utegerezwa gufata ingingo zihambaye, niwiture umuntu wizigiye aguterere iciyumviro ata ho gihengamiye.
Niwiteho amagara yawe. Amaganya ava ku kwahukana akenshi aratuma umuntu agira ingorane z’amagara, nk’ivumbuka ry’umurindi w’amaraso no kuguma ameneka umutwe. Nufungure neza, winonore imitsi kandi uryame bihagije.
—Abanyefeso 5:29. Niwigizeyo ibintu bituma usubira gushavurira uwo mwahoze mwubakanye canke ibintu udakeneye, mugabo uzigame impapuro zihambaye. Nimba hari ibintu bikuvyurira umubabaro, nk’amafoto yawe y’ubugeni, nurabe isandugu uyashiramwo ku bw’abana bawe.
Ntugume wiyagiriza. Umukenyezi yitwa Olga yahukanye n’umugabo wiwe yari yarenze ibigo, yavuze ati: “Naguma nibaza nti: ‘Ni igiki uwo mugore afise jewe ntafise?’ ” Ariko nk’uko Olga yahavuye abitahura, iyo umuntu agumye yiyagiriza birashobora gutuma agira “umutima ukubititse.”
—Imigani 18:14. Abenshi basanze kuza barandika ivyo biyumvira bibafasha gushira ivyiyumviro vyabo ku murongo, bakiyumvira neza. Niwabigira, uragerageza kurondera iciyumviro ciza wosubiriza iciyumviro kibi kiriko kikubuza amahoro. (Abanyefeso 4:23) Raba ubu burorero bubiri:
Iciyumviro kibi: Uwo twari twubakanye yarenze ibigo kubera jewe.
Iciyumviro ciza: Utunenge twanje ntitwamuha uburenganzira bwo kumpemukira.
Iciyumviro kibi: Narataye umwanya wanje nubakana n’uwutari we.
Iciyumviro ciza: Kwibagira kahise ngategura kazoza bizotuma ndushiriza guhimbarwa.
Ntushire umutima ku vyo abantu bavuga. Incuti n’abagenzi bibaza ko bagushakira ineza boshobora kuvuga ibintu bibabaza canke bitari vyo, nk’akarorero ngo: ‘Nakare nta co yari akumariye,’ canke ngo ‘Imana iranka ukwahukana.’ * Birabereye rero kubona Bibiliya itanga iyi mpanuro igira iti: “Ntushire umutima wawe ku majambo yose abantu bovuga.” (Umusiguzi 7:21) Umukenyezi yitwa Martina amaze imyaka ibiri yahukanye, avuga ati: “Aho kugumiza umutima ku majambo ababaza, ndagerageza kubona ibintu nk’uko Imana ibibona. Ivyiyumviro vyayo biri hejuru cane y’ivyiyumviro vyacu.”
—Yesaya 55:8, 9. Nusenge Imana. Imana iremesha abasavyi bayo ‘guterera amaganya yabo yose kuri yo,’ na canecane igihe bari mu bihe bitesha umutwe cane.
—1 Petero 5:7.
GERAGEZA IKI KINTU: Niwandike imirongo yo muri Bibiliya ubona ko igufasha maze uyishire aho uzokwama uyibona kenshi. Uretse ivyanditswe twamaze kuvuga, abahukanye benshi barungukiye no kuri ibi vyanditswe: Zaburi 27:10; 34:18; Yesaya 41:10; Abaroma 8:38, 39.
Nureke Ijambo ry’Imana rigufashe mu bihe bitoroshe
INGORANE YA 2: IMIGENDERANIRE N’UWO MWAHOZE MWUBAKANYE.
Umukenyezi yitwa Juliana yamaze imyaka 11 yubatse, avuga ati: “Naringinze umugabo wanje ngo ntagende. Igihe yagenda, naramushavuriye cane be n’umugore bari bagiye kubana.” Abenshi mu bantu bahukana baramara imyaka itari mike bagishavuriye cane abo bahoze bubakanye. Ariko ntiwumve, hari aho wosanga bategerezwa kuguma bahanahana amakuru, canecane igihe baba baravyaranye.
ICO WOKORA
Nugume ufatana urupfasoni uwo mwahoze mwubakanye. Niwibande ku bintu bikenewe, kandi uvuge make mugabo udomako. Benshi basanze kubigenza gutyo bituma baguma bafitaniye amahoro.
—Abaroma 12:18. Niwirinde amajambo ababaza. Igihe canecane wumva ko usomborokejwe, birahambaye ko ukurikiza iyi mpanuro Bibiliya itanga igira iti: “Uwo wese atangira amajambo yiwe aba afise koko ubumenyi.” (Imigani 17:27) Igihe ubona ko ikiyago canyu ata co kiriko kirashikako, ukaba udashoboye kukigarukana ku murongo, woshobora kuvuga uti: “Numva nobanza kuzirikana ku vyo uvuze hanyuma tukavugana mu nyuma.”
Nutandukanye ibikuraba n’ibiraba uwo mwahoze mwubakanye, ushizemwo inyandiko zijanye n’ivy’amategeko, ivy’ubutunzi be n’izijanye n’ukwivuza.
GERAGEZA IKI KINTU: Ubutaha, niwasubira kuvugana n’uwo mwahoze mwubakanye, uraguma uraba ibimenyetso vyerekana yuko umwe muri mwebwe agomba kwihagararako canke kudadaza. Nimba bikenewe, numusabe mube muravyihojeje canke mwumvikane kubandanya ico kiyago mu kwandikiranira ubutumwa.
INGORANE YA 3: GUFASHA ABANA BAWE KUMENYERA.
Uwitwa Maria aribuka ingene vyari bimeze akimara kwahukana. Avuga ati: “Umukobwa wanje mutoya yaguma arira, kandi yaciye asubira kuza arasoba aho aryamye. Naho umukobwa wanje akuze yagerageza kwifatafata, narabona ko na we nyene hari icahindutse.” Ikibabaje ni uko ushobora kubona ko ata mwanya canke ingoga ufise ngo ufashe abana bawe igihe nyene baba bagukeneye cane.
ICO WOKORA
Nuremeshe abana bawe kukubwira ukuntu biyumva naho ivyo bovuga vyoshobora kumera nk’ “uguhoromboka.”
—Yobu 6:2, 3. Ntubazeze amabanga akwega. Naho woba ukeneye cane uwokuruhura mu mutima kandi umwana wawe akaba asa n’uwufise umutima ukunze wo kubigira, si vyiza ko womudendereza ngo agufashe ingorane z’abakuze. (1 Abakorinto 13:11) Niwirinde kuza uritura umwana wawe mu bikugoye canke ngo umugire umuhuza canke intumwa hagati yawe n’uwo mwahoze mwubakanye.
Nutume ubuzima bw’umwana wawe buguma buri ku rutonde, umuronse n’ubuyobozi. Kutaguma mwimuka no kutaguma uhindura urutonde birashobora gufasha. Ariko n’igihambaye kuruta, urakwiye kuguma witaho ivy’Imana, dushizemwo ugusoma Bibiliya no kugira ugusenga kwo mu muryango.
—Gusubira mu vyagezwe 6:6-9.
GERAGEZA IKI KINTU: Nufate umwanya muri iyi ndwi, ubwire abana bawe ko ubakunda be n’uko ata ruhara bagize mu gutuma wahukana n’uwo mwari mwubakanye. Niwishure ibibazo bakubaza utarinze guta amakosa ku wo mwahoze mwubakanye.
Urashobora kubandanya ubuzima inyuma y’ukwahukana. Umukenyezi yitwa Melissa, uno akaba yaramaze imyaka 16 yubatse, avuga ati: “Igihe nahukana, nariyumviriye nti: ‘Sinashaka ko ubuzima bwanje bumera gutya.’ ” Ubu arahimbawe naho atorohewe. Avuga ati: “Igihe nareka kugerageza guhindura kahise, narumvise merewe neza kuruta.” ▪
^ par. 2 Muri iki kiganiro, bamwebamwe si ko basanzwe bitwa kubera ko bitashimwe ko bamenyekana.
^ par. 18 Imana iranka uwukoresha uruyeri kugira ngo yahukane n’uwo bubakanye. Ariko iyo umwe mu bubakanye yarenze ibigo, Imana iraha uburenganzira uwahemukiwe bwo guhitamwo kwahukana. (Malaki 2:16; Matayo 19:9) Raba ikiganiro kivuga ngo “Twisunze Bibiliya—Imana yanka ukwahukana bwoko ki?” muri Be maso! yo ku wa 8 Ruhuhuma 1994 (mu gifaransa), yasohowe n’Ivyabona vya Yehova.
NIWIBAZE UTI . . .
Noba vy’ukuri narafashe umwanya wo guserura umubabaro natewe n’ukwahukana?
Noreka gute kuguma ngirira inzika uwo twahoze twubakanye?
