Ukuba ukhangela iqabane lomtshato, akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokulindela ezi zinto kuthethwe ngazo kwiphepha elandulela eli. Usenokufumana iqabane elinazo zonke ezi mpawu. Kodwa enyanisweni, njengokuba ixesha lihamba abantu bayatshintsha—zinjalo ke neemeko.

Undoqo: Ukuze uphumelele emtshatweni, umele ulindele izinto ongakhange uzicinge.

Indaba ezimnandi. Ezinye izinto ongakhange uzicinge emtshatweni zinokwenzeka ungazilindelanga zize zikonwabise.

“Ngoku sele sitshatile, ndifumanise ukuba uMaria * unoburharha ngendlela endingazange ndiyiqonde ngoxa sasisathandana. Ekubeni ngoku singasalindeli izinto ezingaphaya kwamandla omnye, iingxaki esijamelana nazo azibaluleki kangako.”—UMark.

Iindaba ezingekho mnandi. Ezinye izinto esingakhange sizicinge emtshatweni zinokungabi mnandi. Khawucinge ngalo mzekelo:

Masithi wena naloo mntu uza kutshata naye nizimisele ukuba ngabathunywa bevangeli kwilizwe lasemzini. Kuthekani ukuba emva komtshato iqabane lakho ligula gqitha de ningakwazi ukufezekisa elo phupha ninalo? Yinto enokwenzeka ngokwenene leyo, kanye njengokuba iBhayibhile isithi “izinto ezibuhlungu zehlela bonke abantu!” (INtshumayeli 9:11, Holy Bible—Easy-to-Read Version) Enyanisweni iya kukukhathaza into yokugula kweqabane lakho—uze udane yinto yokuba ningawafezekisanga amaphupha enu. Kodwa ukuba kuvela loo ngxaki ungakhange uyicinge, umele uyamkele uze uhlengahlengise izinto. Ngapha koko, ngumntu obutshata naye, kungekhona amaphupha.

Undoqo: Kanye njengokuba iBhayibhile isitsho, abo batshatayo baya kuba “nembandezelo”. (1 Korinte 7:28) Maxa wambi loo mbandezelo ibangelwa zizinto ezingakhange zicingwe.

Yintoni onokuyenza ukuze uhlale ukulungele ukwehla kwezinto ongakhange uzicinge? Ukuba uza kutshata, kufuneka ezi zinto zimbini.

Enoba nifanelana kangakanani na nomntu oza kutshata naye, umele uzilindele ezi zinto

• anisayi kuvumelana kuyo yonke into

• anisayi kuba nezinto ezibalulekileyo ezifanayo

• anisayi kusoloko nikuvuyela ukwenza izinto kunye

• anisayi kuthandana njengakuqala

Yinto eqhelekileyo ukwenzeka kwezi zinto zichazwe ngasentla. Aziyi kuwonakalisa umtshato wakho ngaphandle kokuba wena uyazivumela! Khumbula ukuba iBhayibhile ithi uthando “lunyamezela izinto zonke” yaye “aluze lutshitshe.”—1 Korinte 13:4, 7, 8.

Inyaniso Engenakuphikwa: Ekugqibeleni, eyona nto ebalulekileyo yindlela yokukwazi ukuhlangabezana neengxaki eninazo kungekhona iingxaki enijamelene nazo eziya kuwakha okanye ziwuchithe umtshato wenu.—Kolose 3:13.

Ukuba nizimisele ukuhlala kunye neqabane lakho, kungakhathaliseki enoba kwenzeka ntoni na—niya kukwazi ukumelana nezaqhwithi eningakhange nizicinge ezinokuvela.—Mateyu 19:6.

Abanye bathi ukunyaniseka kubangela umbhodamo emtshatweni. Noko ke, kwenza okwahlukileyo! Ukunyaniseka kwenza ulwalamano lwenu lomelele. Xa kuvela iingxaki ezingalindelekanga, wena neqabane lakho ninokukhangela iindlela eninokuzilungisa ngayo, endaweni yokuba niqhawule umtshato.

Ukuze uhlakulele umoya wokunyaniseka, kuya kufuneka ucinge kakuhle ngomtshato kunokuba ube namaphupha ngawo. Jonga umahluko kulo mzekelo, uze uzame oku kulandelayo.

1. Masithi unetikiti lasimahla lenqwelo-moya elinokusa naphi na apho ufuna ukuya khona. Ubungakhetha ukuya kweyiphi indawo,ngoba?

Isizathu:

2. Masithi eli tikiti lelokuya kuphela kuloo ndawo uya kuyo kwaye uza kuhlala apho isigxina ungabuyi.

Ngoku ubungafuna ukuya phi—ukuba ikho—ubungayikhetha indawo ofuna ukuya kuyo?

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• okanye

Kulo mzekelo ungasentla, ukhetho lwakho lokuqala nolwesibini lwendawo ofuna ukuya kuyo lwahlukile. Enoba ziyafana, kumele ukuba ucinge ngendlela eyahlukileyo kukhetho lwakho lwesibini. Endaweni yokuzibona ungumkhenkethi ohamba elwandle okanye onyuka intaba, ngoku kufuneka uzibone njengommi ojamelene neengenelo kunye nocelomngeni lwemihla ngemihla.

Yindlela omele ucinge ngayo ngomtshato leyo. Ngapha koko, njengokuba ixesha lihamba, izinto ziyatshintsha. Ngokungathandabuzekiyo, wena neqabane lakho niza kutshintsha. Impumelelo yenu emtshatweni ixhomekeke kwindlela ojamelana nazo ngayo izinto obungazilindelanga ezivelayo.

Oko Umele Ucinge Ngako: Umelana nazo njani iimeko ezingalindelekanga ojamelana nazo ngoku ebomini, njengomntu ongatshatanga?