USENOKUBA ugqibe ekubeni la mazwi okuqala angasentla ngawentombi engatshatanga; alandelayo ngawomntu otshatileyo. Into osenokuba akukhange uyiqonde kukuba la mazwi athethwa ngumntu omnye.

Konakala phi? Ukuba unqwenela ukutshata, yintoni onokuyenza ukuze amaphupha onawo ngothando ajike abe muncu?

Inyaniso Engenakuphikwa: Ubukhulu becala ukonwaba kwakho emtshatweni kuxhomekeke koko ukulindeleyo kuwo.

Eli nqaku—nelinye elithi “Abantu Abaselula Bayabuza” kuVukani! wenyanga ezayo—aza kukunceda uyiqonde kakuhle into omele uyilindele emtshatweni.

 Yintoni omele uyilindele emtshatweni? Ngamafutshane:

1. Ziingenelo
2. Lucelomngeni
3. Zizinto ongakhange uzicinge

Makhe sijonge nganye kwezi zinto.

IBhayibhile ithetha kakuhle ngomtshato. (IMizekeliso 18:22) Nazi ezinye iingenelo onokuzilindela.

Iqabane. IBhayibhile ithi kangangexesha elithile emva kokudalwa kwendoda yokuqala uAdam, uThixo wathi: “Akulungile ukuba umntu aqhubeke eyedwa,” emva koko wadala uEva ukuze abe liqabane lika-Adam. (Genesis 2:18) UThixo wabadala baneempawu ezahlukeneyo ukuze bangafani, kodwa bafanelane. Ngoko ke, ngamnye kwindoda nomfazi uba liqabane elingumphelelisi welinye.—IMizekeliso 5:18.

Intsebenziswano. IBhayibhile ithi: “Kungcono abasebenzi babebabini kunokuba abemnye, kuba baba nengeniso eyiyo ngomsebenzi wabo.” (INtshumayeli 4:9, IBhayibhile YesiXhosa Yowe-1996) Yinyaniso engenakuphikwa leyo emtshatweni. UBrenda oselula nosandul’ ukutshata uthi, “Kufuneka intsebenziswano nokuthobeka, nikulungele ukuyekelela maxa wambi.”  *

Ukusondelelana. IBhayibhile ithi: “Indoda mayimnike okumfaneleyo umfazi wayo; kodwa nomfazi makenze ngokunjalo endodeni yakhe.” (1 Korinte 7:3) Xa utshatile, uya kuvuyiswa kukulala neqabane lakho ungabi nalo ixhala okanye uzisole into edla ngokwenzeka xa umntu elele nomntu angatshatanga naye.—IMizekeliso 7:22, 23; 1 Korinte 7:8, 9.

Undoqo: Umtshato sisipho esivela kuThixo. (Yakobi 1:17) Xa uphila ngemigaqo kaThixo, unokulindela ukuba umtshato ube yenye yezinto ezonwabisayo ebomini.

Oko Umele Ucinge Ngako: Ngaba indlela owujonga ngayo umtshato iphazanyiswa yimizekelo emibi oyibonileyo—mhlawumbi entsatsheni yakho? Ukuba kunjalo, ngoobani abayimizekelo emihle onokuyixelisa?

IBhayibhile iyichaza kakuhle indlela esimele siwujonge ngayo umtshato. (1 Korinte 7:28) Nazi ezinye iingxaki onokuzilindela.

Ukungaboni ngasonye. Abakho abantu ababini abafana twatse—into abafana ngayo kukungafezeki. (Roma 3:23) Ngoko ke, abantu abatshatileyo bakhe bangaboni ngasonye, kungakhathaliseki ukuba bafanelana kangakanani na. Maxa wambi bakhe bathethe amazwi ahlabayo abaye bazisole ngawo kamva. IBhayibhile ithi: “Umntu ongakhe athethe nto iphosakeleyo . . . ebeya kuba ufezekile. (Yakobi 3:2, iHoly Bible—Easy-to-Read Version) Kunokuzama ukuphepha zonk’ izinto angaboni ngasonye kuzo, amaqabane aqhuba kakuhle afunda indlela yokuxubusha ngazo aze azilungise xa zivela.

Ukuphoxeka. Intombazana enguKaren ithi: “Sihlala sibukela iimovie nomabonwakude, apho siye sibone intombazana ifumana umntu ‘oyifaneleyo’ ize ihlale ngokonwaba emva koko.” Xa umtshato ungabi yiyo loo nto bayibone encwadini nakwimovie, omabini amaqabane asenokuphoxeka. Kakade ke, emva komtshato iqabane ngalinye liza kuzibona ezinye iinkalo zokungafezeki kwelinye nemikhwa yalo. Undoqo kukukhumbula ukuba uthando lokwenene “lunyamezela izinto zonke”—kuquka nokuphoxeka.—1 Korinte 13:4, 7.

Ixhala. IBhayibhile ithi abantu abatshatileyo ‘baxhalela izinto zehlabathi.’ (1 Korinte 7:33, 34) Yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba nexhala ibe idla ngokuba yinto entle ukuba nalo. Ngokomzekelo, kusenokuba nzima ukuhlawulela izinto eziyimfuneko. Kusenokufuneka ukuba omabini amaqabane asebenze ukuze akwazi ukuthenga ukutya, impahla, nendawo yokuhlala. Noko ke, anokuphumelela ukuba ayasebenzisana ekunyamekeleni ikhaya lawo.—1 Timoti 5:8.

Undoqo: Ukuba sinokufanisa ukuthandana kwabantu abaza kutshata nokubhabhisa ikayiti, wona umtshato besiya kuwufanisa nokuqhuba inqwelo-moya. Kufuneka ubuchule nemigudu ukuze umelane nokungavumelani—kodwa umntu uyaphumelela.

Oko umele ucinga ngako: Uye wenze ntoni ngoku xa ungaboni ngasonye nabazali bakho okanye abantwana bakowenu? Ngaba xa uphoxekile uyanyamezela? Wenza njani xa unexhala?