ABASHAKANYE bashobora guhura n’ibibazo, ariko iyo umwe muri bo arwaye maze agatinda gukira, byo biba ibindi bindi. * Ese waba wita ku wo mwashakanye urwaye? Niba ari uko bimeze se, ujya uhangayikishwa n’ibi bibazo bikurikira: “nzabyifatamo nte nakomeza kuremba? Ubu se nzashobora gukomeza kumwitaho, nkomeze guteka, gukora isuku no gushaka ibitunga umuryango? Kuki atari jye warwaye?”

Ku rundi ruhande, niba ari wowe urwaye ushobora kuba wibaza uti “ni gute nakumva mfite agaciro, kandi ntashoboye gusohoza inshingano zanjye? Ese uwo twashakanye yaba yinubira ko ndwaye? Ubu se koko mu muryango wacu tuzongera kugira ibyishimo?”

Ikibabaje ni uko hari imiryango imwe n’imwe yatandukanye, bitewe n’uko umwe muri bo yarwaye indwara ikamubaho akarande. Icyakora, ibyo ntibishatse kuvuga ko ishyingiranwa ryanyu rizasenyuka byanze bikunze.

Hari abashakanye bakomeza kubana neza nubwo umwe muri bo yaba arwaye indwara idakira. Reka dufate urugero rwa Yoshiaki na Kazuko. Yoshiaki yavunitse uruti rw’umugongo bituma adashobora kongera kwihindukiza. Kazuko yagize ati “umugabo wanjye aba akeneye ko mufasha muri buri kantu kose. Kumwitaho byatumye mpora mbabara ijosi, intugu n’amaboko, ku buryo buri gihe njya kwivuza mu bitaro bivura ingingo z’umubiri. Akenshi numva kumwitaho bingoye cyane.” Nubwo Kazuko afite izo ngorane zose ariko, yaravuze ati “twarushijeho kunga ubumwe.”

None se mu gihe bimeze bityo, ni gute mushobora kugira ibyishimo? Icya mbere, ni uko iyo abashakanye babonye ko indwara y’umwe muri bo ari iyabo bombi, bituma bakomeza kugira ibyishimo, kandi bakanyurwa. N’ubundi kandi, iyo umwe mu bashakanye arwaye, bombi bibagiraho ingaruka nubwo wenda aba ari mu rugero rutandukanye. Mu Itangiriro 2:24, havuga iby’iyo sano umugabo aba afitanye n’umugore, hagira hati “umuntu azasiga se na nyina, abane n’umugore we akaramata, bombi babe  umubiri umwe.” Ku bw’ibyo, mu gihe uwo mwashakanye arwaye indwara ikamubaho akarande, ni iby’ingenzi cyane ko mwembi mufatanya guhangana n’ubwo burwayi.

Byongeye kandi, ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko iyo abashakanye bakomeje kugirana imishyikirano myiza igihe umwe muri bo arwaye indwara idakira, bibafasha kwemera ibyabaye, kandi bakamenya uko babyitwaramo. Imyinshi mu mico biga mu gihe bahanganye n’uburwayi, ihuje n’inama zihora zifite akamaro dusanga muri Bibiliya. Reka dusuzume inama eshatu zikurikira.

Mu Mubwiriza 4:9, haravuga hati “ababiri baruta umwe.” Kubera iki? Kubera ko, nk’uko umurongo wa 10 ubigaragaza, “iyo baguye umwe abyutsa mugenzi we.” Ese ujya ‘ubyutsa mugenzi wawe,’ umubwira amagambo amugaragariza ko umwishimira?

Ese mushobora gushakisha uko buri wese yafasha mugenzi we? Yong ufite umugore wagagaye uruhande rumwe, yaravuze ati “buri gihe ngerageza kwishyira mu mwanya we. Iyo mfite inyota, numva ko na we ashobora kuba ayifite. Iyo nshaka kujya kureba ahantu nyaburanga, mubaza niba dushobora kujyana. Dusangira akababaro, kandi tugafatanya kwihanganira ubwo burwayi.”

Ese niba ari wowe witabwaho n’uwo mwashakanye, hari ibintu bimwe na bimwe ushobora kwikorera, mu gihe bidashyira mu kaga ubuzima bwawe? Niba ari uko bimeze, kubikora bishobora gutuma wumva ko hari icyo umaze, kandi bigatuma n’uwo mwashakanye ashobora gukomeza kukwitaho.

Aho kugira ngo wumve ko ari wowe uzi neza icyo wakora kugira ngo ugaragaze ko wita ku wo mwashakanye, byaba byiza umubajije icyo we yifuza ko wamukorera. Nancy, wavuzwe mu ntangiriro y’iyi nkuru, yaje kubwira umugabo we ko yababazwaga no kuba atajya amenya uko amafaranga y’urugo rwabo akoreshwa. Ubu noneho, umugabo we agerageza kubimubwira.

Umwami w’umunyabwenge Salomo yaranditse ati “ikintu cyose kigenerwa igihe cyacyo” (Umubwiriza 3:1). Icyakora gukomeza kugendera kuri gahunda bishobora gusa n’aho bidashoboka, kubera ko iyo uwo mwashakanye arwaye bishobora gutuma mudakurikiza gahunda mwari musanganywe. None se ni iki mwakora, kugira ngo nibura mugire gahunda ishyize mu gaciro?

Byaba byiza mugiye mufata akanya gahoraho ko kwirangaza, maze mugasa nk’abirengagiza ibibazo mufite by’uburwayi. Ese mushobora gukorera hamwe ibintu mwakoraga mutararwara? Niba bidashoboka se, ni ibihe bintu bindi mushobora kugerageza gukorera hamwe? Mushobora gukora ikintu cyoroheje, urugero nko gusomera hamwe inkuru, cyangwa mugakora ikintu gikomeye, urugero nko kwiga ururimi rushya. Kugira ibindi bintu mushobora gukorera hamwe bidafitanye isano n’uburwayi, bizatuma mukomeza kuba “umubiri umwe,” kandi bitume ibyishimo byanyu byiyongera.

Ikindi kintu cyabafasha gukomeza gutuza ni ugushyikirana n’abandi. Mu Migani 18:1 hagira hati “uwitandukanya n’abandi aba ashaka ibyo ararikiye, akanga ubwenge bwose butunganye afite ubukana.” Ese wabonye ukuntu uwo murongo ugaragaza ko iyo umuntu yitandukanyije n’abandi, bishobora kumugiraho ingaruka? Ariko iyo umuntu agiye ashyikirana n’abandi bishobora gutuma yumva ameze neza, kandi bigatuma ibibazo afite bitamutesha umutwe. Ku bw’ibyo, byaba byiza mugiye mutumira umuntu akaza kubasura.

Hari igihe gushyira mu gaciro mu gihe wita ku wo mwashakanye urwaye bishobora kugorana. Hari bamwe bakora imirimo myinshi, maze bakagwa agacuho ku buryo bishyira ubuzima  bwabo mu kaga. Amaherezo, bashobora kugera igihe baba batagishoboye kwita ku bo bashakanye. Ku bw’ibyo niba wita ku wo mwashakanye urwaye, ntugomba kwirengagiza ibyo nawe ukeneye. Jya ugena igihe uba utuje kugira ngo uruhuke. * Hari bamwe bavuze ko kuganira n’incuti bizeye bahuje igitsina, maze bakayibwira ibibahangayikishije byagiye bibafasha.

Bibiliya itanga umuburo ugira uti “ntukavuge uti ‘ni iki cyatumye ibihe bya kera biruta iby’ubu?’” (Umubwiriza 7:10). Bityo, jya wirinda gutekereza cyane uko byari kugenda iyo umwe muri mwe ataza kurwara. Ujye wibuka ko umuntu adashobora kugira ibyishimo bisesuye muri iyi isi. Ikintu cy’ingenzi ni ukwemera ibyabaye, kandi ntibikubuze kugira ibyishimo.

None se ni iki gishobora kubibafashamo, wowe n’uwo mwashakanye? Nimuganire ku migisha mufite. Mujye mwishima mu gihe hagize igihinduka, kabone n’iyo byaba ari mu rugero ruto cyane. Murebere hamwe ibintu mwifuza kuzageraho mu gihe kizaza, kandi mwishyirireho intego mushobora kugeraho.

Umugabo witwa Shoji n’umugore we witwa Akiko, bashyize mu bikorwa iyo nama kandi byabagiriye akamaro. Igihe Akiko yarwaraga indwara ifata imitsi, byabaye ngombwa ko bava mu murimo wa gikristo bakoraga igihe cyose. Ese byaba byarabaciye intege? Ibyo ni ibisanzwe. Nyamara, Shoji yagiriye inama abantu bose bari mu mimerere nk’iyabo, agira ati “ntimugacike intege mubitewe no gukomeza gutekereza ku bintu mutagishoboye gukora. Mujye mukomeza kurangwa n’icyizere. Nubwo mwembi mwaba mwizeye ko hari igihe ibintu bizongera kuba byiza, mujye mwibanda ku buzima mufite ubu. Kuri jye, ibyo byumvikanisha ko nkomeza gufasha umugore wanjye, kandi nkamwitaho.” Nawe iyo nama ishobora kugufasha, niba uwo mwashakanye akeneye kwitabwaho mu buryo bwihariye.