Kuti imba isimbe, murume nemudzimai vanofanira kutendana. Asi mudzimba dzakawanda, varume nemadzimai havachaoni unhu hwakanaka hwemumwe wavo kana kutendana. Mubhuku rake rinonzi Emotional Infidelity, mumwe chipangamazano panyaya dzemhuri akati vanhu vakawanda vanouya kwaari “vanonyanya kutaura zvinotadza kuitwa nemumwe wavo kupfuura zvakanaka zvaanoita. Vanenge vachitaura zvavari kuda kuti zvigadziriswe asi havatauri zvakanaka zviri kuitika mumba mavo. Chinhu chavasingazivi ndechokuti kutendana ndeimwe nzira yekuratidzana rudo.”

Iwe nemumwe wako mungaitei kuti dambudziko iri risaitika kwamuri?

Kutendana kunogona kuderedza kusawirirana mumba. Kana murume nemudzimai vakaedza kuona zvakanaka zvinoita mumwe uye voudzana, zvichaita kuti vawedzere kudanana. Kana mumwe akaziva kuti anokosheswa, zvichaita kuti vasanyanya kunetsana kana pakaitika kusawirirana.

Madzimai. Bhuku rambotaurwa rinonzi Emotional Infidelity rinoti, “Madzimai akawanda haawanzooni kushanda nesimba kunoita varume vavo pakuchengeta mhuri.” Mune dzimwe nyika, dambudziko iri rinoitika kunyange kana vose vari vaviri vachienda kubasa.

Varume. Varume havawanzokoshesi zvinhu zvinoitwa nemadzimai zvakadai sekuenda kubasa, kurera vana kana kuti mamwe mabasa avanoita pamba. Fiona, * ava nemakore matatu akaroorwa anoti: “Tose tinombokanganisa uye pandinokanganisa, ndinorwadziwa. Saka kana murume wangu akanditenda pane zvandinenge ndaitawo pamba, ndinobva ndaona kuti achiri kundida, kunyange zvazvo ndiine zvandinombokanganisawo.”

Murume kana mudzimai akaona sekuti mumwe wake haasi kutomboona zvakanaka zvaari kuita, zvinogona kuparadza imba yavo. Mudzimai anonzi Valerie anoti, “Kana mumwe wako asingachakukoshesi, unogona kutanga kufarira mumwe munhu waunoona seanokukoshesa.”

Tarisa zvinoitwa nemumwe wako. Vhiki rinotevera, tarisa unhu hwakanaka hune mumwe wako. Tarisawo zvaanoita zvinobatsira kuti zvinhu zvifambe zvakanaka pamba, zvawanga usingambotarisi. Panopera vhiki racho, nyora (1) unhu hwakanaka hwaunoyemura pamumwe wako uye (2) zvinhu zvaakaita zvinobatsira mhuri yenyu.—Zvinotaurwa neBhaibheri: VaFiripi 4:8.

Kuita izvi kwakanakirei? Mudzimai anonzi Erika anoti, “Kana mava nemakore maroorana, unogona kutanga kusakoshesa mumwe wako. Unenge usingachaoni zvakanaka zvaanoita, wava kungotsvaka zvaanokanganisa.”

Zvibvunze kuti: ‘Ndinotendawo here zvinoitwa nemumwe wangu?’ Ngatitii murume wako agadzirisa zvinhu zvanga zvafa pamba, unoramba wakanyarara here usingamutendi, uchiti ‘handiti ndiro basa rake?’ Kana uri murume, unoona here sekuti basa rinoitwa nemudzimai wako pakuchengeta vana harisi basa raungamutendera nokuti ndiro basa rake saamai vemba? Itozvidzidzisa kuti uone zvakanaka zvinoitwa nemumwe wako pakubatsira kuti zvinhu zvifambe zvakanaka mumhuri, zvingava zvikuru kana kuti zvidiki uye mutende.—Zvinotaurwa neBhaibheri: VaRoma 12:10.

Murumbidze. Bhaibheri rinoti “ratidzai kuti munoonga” kwete kuti zvingogumira mumwoyo. (VaKorose 3:15) Saka gara uchitenda mumwe wako. Murume anonzi James anoti, “Mudzimai wangu paanondirumbidza nezvandinenge ndaita, ndinobva ndawedzera kushanda nesimba kuti ndive murume akanaka.”—Zvinotaurwa neBhaibheri: VaKorose 4:6.

Varume nemadzimai vanotendana nekurumbidzana vanosimbisa rudo rwavo. Mumwe murume anonzi Michael anoti, “Ndinofunga kuti dzimba dzakawanda dzinogona kuramba dzakamira kana varume nemadzimai vakaramba vachiona zvakanaka zvinoitwa nemumwe. Kana vakatadza kuwirirana pane chimwe chinhu, havambofungi zvekurambana nekuti vanenge vachikoshesa muchato wavo.”