Kuti banja liziyenda bwino mwamuna ndi mkazi ayenera kusonyeza kuti amayamikirana. Koma pakapita nthawi amuna ndi akazi ambiri amasiya kuona zinthu zimene winayo akuchita bwino n’kumamuyamikira. Mlangizi wina wa mabanja ananena m’buku lake kuti mabanja ambiri amene amabwera kudzapempha thandizo “nthawi zambiri amadandaula za zimene mnzawo sakuchita [m’banja lawo] osati zimene amachita. Amandiuza zimene akufuna kuti zisinthe m’banja lawo osati zimene akufuna kuti zipitirire. Vuto lalikulu n’lakuti anthuwo amalephera kusonyezana chikondi poyamikirana.”—Emotional Infidelity.

Kodi inuyo mungapewe bwanji vutoli?

Kuyamikirana kukhoza kuchepetsako mavuto m’banja. Mukamayesetsa kuzindikira makhalidwe abwino amene mnzanu ali nawo ndiponso kumuyamikira, banja lanu likhoza kumayenda bwino. Ngakhale nkhani zikuluzikulu zikhoza kutha mosavuta ngati munthu amaona kuti mnzake amamuyamikira.

Akazi. Buku limene talitchula lija linanenanso kuti: “Akazi ambiri sayamikira ntchito yaikulu imene amuna awo amagwira posamalira banja lawo.” Amuna akhoza kukhalanso ndi nkhawa imeneyi ngakhale m’mabanja amene onse mwamuna ndi mkazi amapeza ndalama.

Amuna. Amuna ambiri sayamikira ntchito zimene akazi awo amagwira monga kuthandiza kupeza ndalama, kulera ana kapena kusamalira pakhomo. Mkazi wina dzina lake Fiona, * yemwe wakhala m’banja zaka pafupifupi zitatu, anati: “Aliyense amalakwitsa zinthu ndipo ineyo ndikalakwitsa ndimadandaula. Koma mwamuna wanga akandiuza kuti ndagwira bwino ntchito inayake ndimazindikira kuti amandikonda ngakhale kuti pali zina zimene ndimalakwitsa. Izi zimandisangalatsa ndipo ndimaona kuti ndine wofunika.”

Banja likhoza kukhala pa ngozi ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi amaona kuti mnzake sakumuyamikira. Mkazi wina dzina Valerie anati: “Ngati umaona kuti mnzako sakuyamikira  n’zosavuta kuti uyambe kukopeka ndi munthu wina amene amakuyamikira.”

Muzikhala ndi chidwi. Mlungu uno muyesetse kuona makhalidwe abwino a mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Muyesetsenso kuona ntchito zimene mnzanuyo amagwira zomwe zimathandiza kuti banja lanu liziyenda bwino. Mwina pali ntchito zina zomwe amagwira zimene simumaziyamikira kwenikweni. Ndiyeno kumapeto kwa mlunguwu, lembani (1) makhalidwe abwino amene mnzanuyo ali nawo ndiponso (2) ntchito zimene wagwira pothandiza banja lanu.—Lemba lothandiza: Afilipi 4:8.

Kodi kuchita chidwi n’kofunikadi? Inde. Mkazi wina dzina lake Erika anati: “Ukakhala m’banja kwa zaka zingapo ukhoza kusiya kuona zinthu zabwino zimene mnzakoyo amachita n’kuyamba kumangoganizira zimene sachita.”

Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndimayamikiradi zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga amachita?’ Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwamuna wanu wakonza zinthu zina pakhomo, kodi mumalephera kumuthokoza chifukwa choona kuti ndi udindo wake kuchita zimenezo? Ngati ndinu mwamuna, kodi mumaona kuti simuyenera kuyamikira mkazi wanu pa ntchito yolera ana imene amagwira chifukwa choti ndi zimene ayenera kuchita? Nthawi zonse muziyesetsa kuona ndiponso kuyamikira zinthu zonse zimene mnzanu amachita pothandiza banja lanu.—Lemba lothandiza: Aroma 12:10.

Muziyamikirana pafupipafupi. Baibulo limanena kuti tiyenera ‘kumasonyeza kuti ndife oyamikira.’ (Akolose 3:15) Choncho muyenera kumayamikira mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu nthawi zonse. Mwamuna wina dzina lake James anati: “Mkazi wanga akamandithokoza chifukwa cha zimene ndachita zimandilimbikitsa ndipo zimandilimbikitsa kuti ndiyesetse kukhala mwamuna wabwino.”—Lemba lothandiza: Akolose 4:6.

Mwamuna ndi mkazi akamayamikirana amagwirizana kwambiri. Mwamuna wina dzina lake Michael anati: “Ndimaona kuti mabanja ambiri sangathe ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi atamaganizira kwambiri zinthu zabwino zimene mnzawoyo amachita. Akakumana ndi mavuto sangathamangire kuthetsa banja chifukwa choti nthawi zonse amaganizira kwambiri zinthu zosangalatsa zokhudza banja lawo.”