Ciindi nomubandika angomukwetene limwi kujatikizya penzi ndyomujisi, sena kanji-kanji mulijana kuti mulinyemede kapati kumamanino aamubandi kwiinda nomwatalika kubandika? Ikuti kacili boobo, mulakonzya kubululamika bukkale oobo. Pele cakusaanguna, kuli zintu nzyomweelede kuzyiba kujatikizya mbobaindene kubandika bamaalumi abamakaintu. *

Kanji-kanji bamakaintu balombozya kubandika kabatanamvwa mbolikonzya kumana penzi. Mubwini, ziindi zimwi kubandika nkokuyandika kutegwa penzi limane.

“Ndilimvwa kabotu kuti ndaamba mbondilimvwa alimwi akuzyiba kuti balumi bangu balandimvwisya. Ndamana kulibandika penzi ndilimvwa kabotu, kanji-kanji mumaminiti buyo masyoonto kuzwa notwamana kubandika.”—Ba Sirppa. *

“Tandikonzyi kuliluba penzi ikuti tiindapegwa ciindi cakupandulula kubalumi bangu bwini mbondilimvwa. Ndalyaamba penzi lilaleka kundipenzya.”—Ba Ae-Jin.

“Cili mbuli mulimo wakuvwuntauzya. Ciindi nondaambaula, ndilalanga-langa mbazu imwi aimwi yapenzi akusola kuzyiba caleta penzi eelyo.”—Ba Lurdes.

Bamaalumi kanji-kanji bayeeya cikonzya kugwasya kumana penzi. Eeco cilamvwika, nkaambo kubamba makani cipa mwaalumi kulimvwa kuti ulaamulimo. Kupa mizeezo iigwasya ninzila mwatondezya kumukaintu wakwe kuti ulakonzya kumusyoma nayanda lugwasyo. Aboobo, bamalumi balanyema ciindi mizeezo yabo yakusola kumana penzi noitatambulwi. Mulumi wazina lyakuti Kirk wakaamba kuti: “Ndilaalilwa kumvwisya kaambo ncondaambilila penzi ikuti kotayandi kumvwa muzeezo uugwasya kumana penzi!”

Bbuku litegwa The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work licenjezya kuti: “Muntu weelede kulimvwisya penzi katanapa lugwasyo. Mweelede kumutondezya ngomukwetene limwi kuti mwalimvwisya penzi lyakwe alimwi akumutondezya kuti muluuside akaambo kaceeco kamutanamupa muzeezo uukonzya kugwasya. Kanji-kanji ngomukwetene limwi inga talombi kuti  mumwaambile mbwakonzya kulimana penzi eelyo, pele uyanda buyo kuti mumuswiilile.”

Kuli bamalumi: Amube acilengwa cakuswiililisya alimwi akusola kumvwisya mbwalimvwa mukaintu wanu. Mulumi umwi uutegwa Tomás wakaamba kuti: “Zimwi ziindi ndamana kuswiilila inga ndilaakulyaambauzya mumoyo kuti, ‘Eeci kunyina ambocagwasya.’ Pele kanji-kanji eeci ncecintu ncayandika buyo mukaintu wangu—kumuswiilila.” Mulumi uutegwa Stephen awalo wakakazumina kaambo aaka. Wakaamba kuti: “Ndajana kuti cilagwasya kapati kumulekela mukaintu wangu kwaamba mbwalimvwa kakunyina kumunjila mukanwa. Kanji-kanji ndacita boobo, ulandaambila kuti wamanizya alimwi akuti ulimvwa kabotu lino.”

Amusole nzila eeyi: Ciindi ciboola mwaakubandika penzi limwi amukaintu wanu, tamweelede kupa muzeezo ikuti tiimwalombwa kucita boobo. Kamumulanga ciindi nakanana alimwi akuswiililisya ncaamba. Kamugunya-gunya mutwe kutondezya kuzuminizya. Amukainduluke kaambo nkaamba kutondezya kuti mwamvwisya. Mulumi umwi uutegwa Charles, wakaamba kuti: “Zimwi ziindi mukaintu wangu inga uyanda buyo kuzyiba kuti ndilamumvwisya alimwi akuti ndili kulubazu lwakwe.”—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Jakobo 1:19.

Kuli bamakaintu: Amumwaambile mulumaanu ncomuyanda kuti acite. Mukaintu umwi uutegwa Eleni wakaamba kuti: “Tulakonzya kuyeeya kuti ngotukwetene limwi ulizyi kale nzyotuyandika, pele zimwi ziindi tuyandika kuzyaamba buya.” Mukaintu uutegwa Ynez wakapa muzeezo ooyu wakuti: “Balumi bangu ndakali kubaambila kuti, ‘Kuli cindikatazya mumoyo, lino ndalikuyanda kumwaambila kutegwa mumvwe. Tandilombi kuti mundigwasye, pele ndiyanda buyo kuti mumvwe mbondilimvwa.’”

Amusole nzila eeyi: Ikuti mulumaanu wabinda kupa muzeezo, mutayeeyi kuti tabikkilide maano. Kulangilwa kuti usola kumugwasya. Mukaintu wazina lyakuti Ester wakaamba kuti: “Muciindi cakunyema, ndilasola kubona kuti mulumaangu ulabikkila maano alimwi uyanda kuswiilila, pele alimwi ulayanda kugwasya.”—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: Baroma 12:10.

Kuli boonse bobilo: Kanji-kanji bantu tuyanda kubacitila zintu mbubonya mbotuyanda kucitilwa. Nokuba boobo, kutegwa mwaabandike kabotu mapenzi, mweelede kuyeeya mbwanga wayanda kuti mumweendelezye ngomukwetene limwi. (1 Bakorinto 10:24) Mulumi uutegwa Miguel wakaamba boobu: “Ikuti naa muli mulumi, mweelede kunooswiilila. Ikuti naa muli mukaintu, zimwi ziindi mweelede kuswiilila mizeezo njamupa mulumaanu. Ikuti nyoonse nyobilo kamulibambilide kuswiilila aumwi ncaamba, mulakonzya kugwasyigwa.”—Njiisyo yamu Bbaibbele: 1 Petro 3:8.