kuch log zindagi mein bahot-si galtiyaan karte hain aur unke anjam bhi bhugatte hain, fir bhi woh in sabse jaldi nahin seekhte. main aise logon mein se ek tha. mera janm aur parvarish barcelona mein hui, jo spain ka doosra sabse bada shehar hai. hamara ghar samudri-tat ke paas somorrostro naam ke ilake mein tha. yah ilaka apradh aur drugs ki taskari ke liye badnam tha.

hum nau bhaai-behen the aur main sabse bada tha. hum bahot gareeb the, isliye pitaji ne mujhe ek tennis club mein geind uthane (ball boy) ke kaam mein laga diya. main das saal ka tha aur das ghante kaam karta tha, isliye main school nahin jaa saka. jab main 14 saal ka hua, to main ek lohar ki dukan mein machine chalane ka kaam karne laga.

san 1975 mein mujhe spain ke kaanoon ke mutabik sena mein jaana pada. main zindagi mein kuch alag karna chahta tha. mainne ek aise sainik-dal (spanish foreign legion) ke liye apna naam diya, jo uttari afreeka ke meleelya shehar mein thi. is shehar par spain ka kabza tha. lekin fir isi dauran mainne drugs aur sharab ki gandi duniya mein kadam rakha.

jab mainne yah sainik-dal chhoda, to main barcelona vaapas aa gaya aur vahaan mainne apna ek giroh banaya. jo bhi cheez hamare haath lagti, hum use utha lete. fir chori ki hui cheezen bechkar jo paisa milta tha, usse hum drugs khareedte. main el.es.di. (LSD) aur amphetamines jaise khatarnak drugs lene laga. sharab, juye aur anaitik kaamon mein main poori tarah doob gaya. main bahot gussail ho gaya tha aur maar-dhaad karne laga tha. main har vakt apne paas chaakoo, katari ya kulhadi rakhta tha aur zaroorat padne par inhein chalane se darta bhi nahin tha.

ek baar mainne apne giroh ke saath milkar ek car churayi. police hamare peechhe pad gayi. aisa lag raha tha, jaise koi filmi scene chal raha ho. woh car hamne 30 kilometer tak bhagayi. fir police ne goli chalani shuroo ki. ant mein hamari car ki kisi cheez se takkar ho gayi aur hum nikalkar bhaag gaye. jab mere pitaji ko yah sab pata chala, to unhonne mujhe ghar se baahar nikaal diya.

agle paanch saalon tak sadak hi mera ghar tha. kabhi main kisi ke darvaze par soya, to kabhi truck mein, to kabhi park ki benchon par ya fir kabhi kabristan mein. main kuch samay ke liye ek gufa mein bhi raha. main bas yahaan-vahaan bhatak raha tha, mere jeevan ka koi maksad nazar nahin aa raha tha. aisa lag raha tha, jaise mere zinda hone ya marne se kisi ko koi fark nahin padta. mujhe yaad hai ki jab main drugs leta tha, to kai baar mainne apni baanhein aur kalaiyaan kaati thi. inke nishan aaj tak hain.

jab main 28 saal ka hua, to meri maa mujhe dhoondhte huye aayin aur unhonne mujhe ghar vaapas chalne ke liye kaha. main bhi taiyar ho gaya aur mainne unse vaada kiya ki main apni zindagi sudharoonga. lekin aisa karne mein mujhe kuch vakt lag gaya.

ek din yahova ke sakshi hamare ghar aaye. jab main unki sun raha tha, to pitaji ne andar se chillakar kaha, ‘darvaza band kar do.’ woh sakshiyon ko pasand nahin karte the. lekin mujhe kisi ka hukm maanna achha nahin lagta tha, isliye mainne pitaji ki nahin suni. in sakshiyon ne mujhe teen chhoti kitabein di, jo mainne le lin. mainne unse poochha ki unki sabhayen kahaan hoti hain aur kuch dinon baad main raaj-ghar pahunch gaya.

jis baat par sabse pehle mera dhyan gaya, woh tha ki sabka pehnava bahot achha aur saleekedar tha. lekin mera haal unse bilkul alag tha. mere lambe-lambe baal the, gandi daadhi thi aur kapde bhi fate-purane the. mujhe laga ki main andar jaane ke laayak nahin, isliye main baahar hi khada raha. lekin tabhi mainne apne giroh ke ek purane saathi ko dekha, jiska naam khvan tha. woh suit-boot mein aaya tha. mujhe baad mein pata chala ki woh ek saal pehle hi yahova ka sakshi bana tha. uske vahaan hone se meri himmat badhi ki main andar jaaun. us din se meri zindagi badalne lagi.

main yahova ke sakshiyon se bible seekhne laga. jald hi mujhe ehsas hua ki parmeshvar ko khush karne ke liye mujhe maar-dhaad aur anaitik kaam chhodne honge. ye badlav karne aasan nahin the. mainne seekha ki ‘nayi soch paida karne se hamari kaayaplat hoti hai.’ agar main yahova ko khush karna chahta hoon, to mujhe apni soch badalni hogi. (romiyon 12:2) mujhe ehsas hua ki itni saari galtiyaan karne ke baavjood yahova ne mujh par kitni daya ki hai. usne mujhe apni zindagi ek naye sire se shuroo karne ka mauka diya hai. is sabse mera dil bhar aaya. jo bhi baatein mainne yahova parmeshvar ke baare mein seekhin, woh mere dil ki gehraiyon mein utar gayin. main samajh gaya ki ek srishtikarta hai, jise meri parvah hai.​—1 patras 5:6, 7.

is ehsas ne mujhe apne mein badlav karne ke liye ubhara. udahran ke liye, jab bible adhyan ke dauran tambakoo par charcha hui, to mainne khud se kaha, ‘agar yahova parmeshvar chahta hai ki main har tareeke se shuddh rahoon, to mujhe cigarette chhodni hi padegi!’ (2 kurinthiyon 7:1) mainne usi vakt saari cigarette kachre ke dibbe mein feink di!

itna hi nahin, meri drugs lene ki jo aadat thi aur use bechne ka jo kaam main karta tha, woh sab bhi ab chhodna tha. yah karna mere liye bahot mushkil raha aur ismein bahot vakt bhi laga. ek baat mujhe samajh mein aayi ki mujhe apne purane doston ko chhodna hoga. unke saath rehkar main yahova ke saath apna rishta nahin bana sakta tha. lekin yahova aur mandli ke naye doston ne meri bahot madad ki. mainne kabhi apne liye aisa pyar aur parvah nahin mehsoos ki thi. ek din aaya ki mainne drugs ki lat chhod di. mainne “nayi shakhsiyat” pehan li, jisse main yahova ko khush kar paaya. (ifisiyon 4:24) agast 1985 mein main yahova ka sakshi ban gaya.

bible ki vajah se jaise mujhe naya jeevan mila. jis tarah pehle main jeeta tha, usse na sirf mere shareer ko nuksan ho raha tha, balki main apna aatm-samman bhi kho raha tha. darasal, mere purane saathiyon mein se 30 log to javani mein hi aids ya drugs lene se honevali beemariyon ki vajah se mar gaye. lekin bible ke siddhaanton ke mutabik jeene se main in khatarnak anjamon se bach saka. iske liye main yahova ka bahot shukraguzar hoon!

javani mein chhuri aur kulhadi lekar ghoomne aur logon se maar-dhaad karne ki jo meri aadat thi, vo ab ek beeti baat hai. ab main apne saath bible rakhta hoon aur parmeshvar ke baare mein jaanne mein logon ki madad karta hoon. mainne kabhi socha bhi nahin tha ki main itna badal jaaunga! main apni patni ke saath milkar apna zyadatar samay parmeshvar ki seva karne mein bitata hoon.

mere maata-pita khud kabhi yahova ke sakshi nahin bane, lekin jo badlav mujhmein bible ki vajah se huye the, uski woh bahot kadar karte the. ek baar to mere pitaji ne apne saath kaam karnevalon ke saamne sakshiyon ke paksh mein baat ki thi. woh yah achhi tarah samajh gaye the ki sakshiyon se bible seekhne ki vajah se hi mujhmein itne badlav aaye the. kai baar meri maa ne yah baat kahi ki mujhe pehle hi bible ka adhyan kar lena chahiye tha aur unki is baat se main poori tarah sehmat hoon.

mainne apne tajurbe se seekha ki khushi aur sukoon drugs jaisi buri laton mein padne se nahin milta, balki logon ko parmeshvar ke vachan se sikhane mein milta hai. bible ki inhin shikshaon ki vajah se mera jeevan bach gaya.